Transcript
When are you most likely to fracture your willy? Weekdays, weekends, summer, winter, Christmas, New Year's. That's what this study set out to answer. And their conclusion is actually one of the most fantastic written lines I've ever read in a peer-reviewed research study. Welcome back to What the Science? Weird Sex Stuff. First, a quick review. What is a ding-dong fracture? I've heard that some people don't believe in them. But they're more real than Santa, and apparently linked. More on that soon. The textbook definition is, The rupture of the Tunica, Albiginia that results from a rapid blunt force to an erect duttle. This force is usually a bending or impaction motion induced by lady flower insertion or aggressive choking of the chicken. The tuna al-Baginia is a fibrous membrane made mostly of collagen that helps to give an erection its structure. Fractures are caused by forcible bending, often as a result of risky positions like reverse cowgirl. And yeah, there is often an audible crack, and it requires a hospital visit that often ends in surgery. Yish! Let's move on. This study looked at 16 years of doodle fracture data in German men. 4,400 fractures, and tried to calculate when they were most likely to occur. The results? They were 11% more likely in the summer versus any other season. 58% more likely to occur on weekends than weekdays, which makes sense if you think about when people are most likely to dump uglies. But the next bit was fascinating. Fractures were 43% more likely to occur on Christmas, I guess making it sort of like a weekend, which makes sense. But strangely, they were no more likely to occur on New Year's than any other day. That could just be a statistical anomaly due to the fairly small sample size we're dealing with here. below. But now for the study conclusion. As they wrote it, the present high-volume, high-quality real-world data demonstrate that last Christmas, one-eyed monster fractures occurred more often. This year, to save us from tears, we will not do something special. The new Christmas hit of the year.
Additional notes
Your best theory gets a 🎖️. ❗️NOTE: All alternate “Tallywhacker” terms were inserted by me for the sake of the algorithm, not by the study authors. 📕 Fun fact: While researching this video I discovered ”Green’s Dictionary of Slang,” which is a delightfully academic alternative to Urban Dictionary, tracking slang term usage across history and providing citations. 📚 Study Info: DOI: 10.1111/bju.16216 DOI: 10.1111/bju.14167 ⚠️ Study Limitations: The overall study sample size of 3,421 fractures is fairly low for running “day of the year” statistics, leading to fairly large confidence intervals. I’d love to see a comparable analysis on US data. #science #edutok #christmas #health
References
- Penile fractures: the price of a merry Christmas. DOI: 10.1111/bju.16216.
- Referenced BJU International penile-fracture study. DOI: 10.1111/bju.14167.
- Green’s Dictionary of Slang.